therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
