Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
