I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is it because I queefed?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
