You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
