If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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