I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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