How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
