that's an acceptable place to lick
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize