So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
