I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We talked him into tasing himself.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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