Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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