He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
