I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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