Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
