At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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