i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
NoShamevember. You game?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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