just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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