miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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