This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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