we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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