Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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