It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
