Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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