My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
