We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i will never coherently bang her
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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