Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
