Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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