Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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