So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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