Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
