New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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