Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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