i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
