hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
