I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
