i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
one two three fourrrrnication!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
