Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
