The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
