John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
