Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
