i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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