the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
