Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
