Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
