'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
