3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
