I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
