At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
