um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do vagina's smell?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
