He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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