As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
